SPEAKER_02 0:01

Family is important to us here at YCCA. This Sunday we have the privilege of guest speaker Delia Ung, CEO of Focus on the Family Singapore, sharing with us on the topic of strengthening faith at home. May the Lord challenge and encourage each of us to go further in bringing our faith out of Sunday mornings and into the rest of our week as well.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Thank you. Good morning, everyone. I'm deeply humbled to have this opportunity to share with you from God's word today. Thank you, Pastor Daniel, Pastor Richard, and the team for the gracious invitation to join you today in your family service. Yeah. Throughout the Bible, we observe that family is God's channel to reveal his image and his love to humanity. So in Genesis, we see that God is pleased with the union of Adam and Eve. And he stated that it's very good when he saw them. In Ephesians 5, we learned that the relationship between Christ and the church is a model for husbands and wife, husbands who love their wives. And in addition, we also see Jesus entering the world into an earthly family, submitting himself to the loving guidance of his earthly parents. So we see it throughout the whole Bible, you know, that family is very core and integral to how God had intended for us to live on earth and to experience the fullness of life on earth. Yet today we also live in a world that is trying to redefine family, going against God's design. And as followers of Jesus Christ, we need to be aware and alert to the schemes of the enemy who is seeking to steal, kill, and destroy the foundations of family that separate us, and destroy the foundations of family in order to separate us from God and the blessings of life that comes through alignment with Him. So today, as I share with you, I would like to also draw some connections to what it looks like to live our faith in an integral and holistic manner. Yeah, and if some of you might be familiar with this movie, it is the opening scene from a classic film called Oliver Twist. I see some smiling faces now. Yeah, and of course, when you see the opening scene, they were singing this often heard phrase, food, glorious food. And in the child in the children in the institution, you know, in this orphanage, they were starving. While they were fed with very little and they dream of being able to be eating better. And the irony is that, in the movie, if you're if you have watched it before, the irony is that the adults who were supposed to take care of them were eating very rich and lavish meals. Now, is the message of God's love true? Very much so. But is the experience that the children were having in that home, in the institution, consistent with the message that is being written on the dining hall? Probably not. Yeah? The children in the institution, in the home, they were cared for physically on the outward, but they were actually malnourished, both physically and spiritually malnourished. So what happens when the experience of our Christian faith is inconsistent with the exegesis or the study of our word? No matter how hard we try and explain and read and study the word, sometimes it is difficult and challenging for the next generation to receive it. So the Christian message that one hears on the pulpit and in the in the Bible study groups needs to be lived out and experienced in our Christian homes from Monday to Saturday. Not just on Sundays that we hear it. Otherwise, the inconsistency will cost us the faith of our next generation. This is my family. Guess which one is me in the picture? I like how you're responding. Yes, I'm the youngest one of the three children in the picture. I'm the toddler in there. I was born and raised in a Christian family. My parents were leaders in a church. They were serving very actively. But have, however, my father left our family before I turned one. And my parents eventually divorced two years later. My mother was left with the lion's share of raising the three of us. And as a family, we continued to attend church regularly. We seated among the pews and just integrated into the whole environment. We hosted, you know, small groups, Bible study groups, and our homes. And I attended a mission school for 10 years. So I was immersed in an environment where the Christian message was constantly and you know, consistently being preached to me and taught to me. Yet by the time I was 12 years old, I decided to stop participating in anything related to the Christian faith. Not having the right understanding of God's sovereignty and man's free will, or even understanding sin and forgiveness, etc., as a child, I just couldn't wrap my head around this question I had growing up. If God loves me, and if God is all powerful, why did God place me in this family? And this was a question I grew up asking, and nobody really had an answer for me. Difficult to answer, I guess. So the Pure Research Center found that the majority of the youths who have decided to leave the church left because they didn't have a strong faith practice as a child. Closer to home in Singapore, in a survey conducted at the Love Singapore Summit last year, many second and third generation Christians have grown to be indifferent to the faith because they don't see the reality of God being lived out in the lives of their parents. Now, parents, I'm sharing this not as a way of, you know, you know, putting a judgment or a, but it's really meant to be a sobering reminder and to alert us that, hey, we need to sit up and recognize that this is what's happening to our next generation. In a survey conducted of parents and youths from Christian households, this is a survey conducted by Focus on the Family, we observe that the percentage of Christian households that have any form of faith practice at home is about one in two families. So that's reported by the parents' point of view. So this actually reveals to us that parents are trying. They are trying, but yet at the same time, if you look at the right column on the column on the right, what the youth or the child is reporting is that it is not the same. It doesn't correspond with what the parents think that they are trying to do. So this morning, I pray that the Lord grants us the tenacity, the wisdom, you know, to continue. I believe every one of us here are on the with the right intentions, we want to do something. So may the Lord grant us that wisdom, you know, to cultivate the home environment such that a vibrant faith can be lived up and demonstrated for us to all grow in Christ-likeness towards spiritual maturity. And I believe that is the emphasis of your church this year, to grow in Christ's likeness towards spiritual maturity. The scripture, oh sorry, the stats, yeah. So this is what I was sharing just now. One in two families actually think that they are doing it, but yet the children do not think likewise. Alright, so the scripture reading for this week, for today, is Deuteronomy 6. And if you look at the scripture over here, we dive in and recognize that the Hebrew understanding of the word heart is more than just emotion. It's not just about how we feel, but it refers to the center of a person's will. In other words, when we when scripture tells us put these commandments upon your heart, it's really about centering our will, upon God's word. Well, it's important for us to recognize that knowing God's word and his commandments by heart isn't just being familiar or having knowledge about it, but it requires us to allow the word to be the center to who we are and our identity. And the next part you see here, impress them on your children. To live a lasting impression of God's word requires us to practice it intentionally, yeah, and to actually find the look out for opportunities all the time. Because sometimes these opportunities to share or to impress the word occurs very sporadic uh randomly and not without like any um orchestration, you know, it could just be in the everyday moments. So while there may be some times where we would structure in some teaching, actually it really occurs in the walking, the talking, the lying down, the sitting, and the getting up. And that's in every moment of our lives. So when Jesus grew in wisdom, it tells us that he gained understanding and spiritual maturity. At the same time, in parallel, there's a gaining of stature and favor. So that reveals to us that there is also a relational health that comes out of maturity. A relational health reconciled with God, a relationship reconciled with God, and also a relationship with those around us. And with that, I would like to share with us this idea that all of us have a spiritual, an emotional, and a social part of who we are that forms the Christian heritage that we want to impart to our family in our family. So this forms a chord of three strands where they are all intertwined. They cannot exist on its own, which means to say we are unable to just purely talk about scripture without relationship. Neither are we able to talk about uh relationships without being able to be connected emotionally. So they all need to be interconnected in order for us to holistically build an atmosphere for faith being practiced at home. Yeah? So from here, allow me to just share how we might strengthen these three aspects in our home. So the first is a social heritage where we give our children the insight and strong social skills to cultivate healthy and stable relationships. You know, relationships cannot, relationship skills cannot be taught in a textbook. As much as we might be able to find that on the shelves at a self-help section in bookstores. Relationships, relational skills are learned and nurtured first in the context of our home, because that's where we are raised and that's where we spend most of our time in. Ortis Landbatter, an author from this organization called Heritage Builders, he shared about the conversation he overheard between his son, who was about eight years old at that point in time, and his mother. And he heard his son talking back at his mother, getting disrespectful with him, with her. So what Ortis did was he went to the room and said to his son, hey Matt, she might be your mother, but she's actually my wife. So nobody talks to my wife like that. And about a week later, Ortis was having a disagreement, you know, as some husbands and husbands and wife do have disagreement, am I right? Yeah, and they were having a disagreement, and Matt appears, the son appears at the corner and said, Hey dad, she may be your wife, but she's my mom. And don't I don't let anyone talk to my mom like that. In God's perfect design, he intended for children to be conceived as the fruit of a loving and committed marriage. And also in this context of a loving and committed marriage, it's where children experience firsthand a loving relationship between husband and wife. And so the best gift a parent can give to their children is really the love that they have for their spouse. So, as I alluded to in that example earlier, right, how our children are observing our interactions with our spouse is actually a model that they are picking up in terms of tone, choice of words, actions, verbal and nonverbal cues. And these are the first steps of relational skills that they are receiving, for better or words. Well, maybe some of us might be thinking, um, yeah, and also the in the context of a loving relationship in the home, that's where children will reap the best outcomes of that family relationship. So put to put simply, children really fare best when parents love and respect one another. And of course, as believers, we know that we cannot do marriage on our own. And in this diagram, I share with you that it is true the beauty of a marital covenant that is founded on a relationship with God in it is that we can draw from God. Yeah, because even in my own journey, now that I'm a wife and mom, I'm often reminded that I cannot pour from an empty cup. I cannot give of an unconditional love if I've not first received that unconditional love. And being believers, um, our benefit and our and the privilege is really being able to draw, to draw from that source of unconditional love from God. Because from there, and from there comes my identity, from there comes the infilling of the Holy Spirit that allows me to nurture my marriage. And thereafter, being able to do that for my children. Okay. So the parent-child relationship is also built two ways. In order for our hearts to be turned towards our children and our children's hearts to be turned towards us, it is important that our interactions with our children is life-giving. So in Ephesians 6, we also see that we are reminded, fathers and mothers do not provoke your children to anger, do not exasperate them to the point of resentment. And bring them up tenderly with loving kindness in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So in every interaction, it needs to be life-giving. Otherwise, it is very difficult for us to have our hearts turned towards one another. This leads me to the next aspect of cultivating an emotional heritage in our household. Providing an enduring sense of security and emotional stability does not mean that we bubble wrap our children. Yeah. Instead, it means that we are present and attentive to speaking into our children's emotions and being that source of support that enables them to bounce back. So maybe for some of us who might not be parents, maybe we are in an environment where we are, you know, in a in a family where we are looking out for nieces or nephews or grandchildren, grandnieces and nephews, that could also be applied. Whereby we keep a lookout for the emotional well-being of the family relationships that stems from the way that we interact with one another. Especially in our climate where, in our society where it places a strong emphasis on performance, our children all the more need to be assured that their value stems from being a gift from God to the family. Very much that the Bible tells us that children are inheritance from the Lord, right? A gift from God. The children, our children need to hear that message, that they are a gift, they are not a burden, they are a gift, they are not additional responsibility that tapped, weighs us down. Because if they are if they are hearing that message, it makes them feel that they are actually troubling us. Whenever people look at success, they look at the end point, the destination. But actually, it is the family that journeys with the young person throughout the journey, the whole process. From the point where they started to walk, to crawl, to walk, and pick up, stand up, stand up, pick up, and just that whole process of even picking up each time that they need our help and support. Yeah, and I guess that's very um poignant, right? Of course, for some of us who have also journeyed through that process of walking with our own children. If you have your, okay, I know the children have also stepped up for now, but if you're you have a moment to take a snapshot of this picture, I would encourage you to set aside time and ask your child, you know, no matter how old they are, even if they are young adults, ask your child, you know, what is an area that you have been doing well in? One of the A's that you're doing well in, and at the same time, which is an area that you can adjust your dosage in? To tone it up a bit more or to tone it down a bit more, a little. Why do we say that? Because these are the five A's, the five A's that it's not the academic kind of A's, but the A's in terms of building an emotional tank in our home that would nurture an environment where they feel safe to ask the difficult questions. It is an environment where there is a strong relationship and emotional attention to one another, that our young people would turn to the home, to the family, and say, hey, I'm encountering this and I would like to hear your views. Because that leads into our next pillar, which is the spiritual heritage. Barner and World Vision conducted a global study on the connected generation to find out the values that millennials and Gen Z hold. And out of 82%, you would see in this diagram, it out of 82% who report to have spiritual beliefs, almost half say that they think that spiritual realities exist, but they are not sure. So it's like a I dare, but not quite there. You know, I think that there is spiritual realities, but I actually don't really know why. So imparting a spiritual heritage to the next generation is actually an ongoing process that requires us to model and reinforce the unseen realities of a spiritual life. Because unlike relationship building and responding to emotions, the spiritual is unseen. And children, our young people, need to observe this in our lives. In the context of a Christian home or even in an extended family where aunties and uncles are believers, in order for them to corroborate the reality of spiritual life in action. So, what does that really look like and what does it mean? Proverbs 14, verse 26 reveals to us that when one generation builds the foundation of a faith-led life, it provides a place of refuge and safety for those that come after. And they seek covering and guidance under it, a place of refuge. So in my context, when my mom was raising us single-handedly, she found it financially challenging to make ends meet. Yet I observed that she persisted in presenting her tithe to God without fail. So there was once I asked her, you know, why would you choose to give instead of keeping it for yourself or even to maybe buy that thing I've been asking for? But her response left an impression on me, even though I was doubting, right? My the faith. She said to me, Do you know how many times there I thought that we would not have enough, but God answered my prayer? And sometimes we and somehow we will just be provided for. And I know that all that comes from God. And at a point in time when my mom shared that with me, I couldn't fully comprehend. Because I can only measure what is in my pocket, right? Yeah. But I didn't realize then that she was actually modeling to me a story in the Bible. The widow's two mights. She didn't need to take out the Bible and quote scripture to me, but she was actually modeling that in her life for me. So God has set eternity in the hearts of men, and in my own journey, while I had backslidden for a number of years during my youth, I give thanks to God for my mother's persistent faith and the seeds sown into my life through the education in the environment that I was in. And of course, God's hand that rescued me from the miry clay. And so, in every generation, from your generation to the next generation, every generation will continue to seek answers to a question for an ultimate meaning in life. And as parents or as adults, carrying adults in a family, we can be intentional to cultivate the environment for those questions to be asked. And even if we cannot give that so called model answer, at least we are able to give an answer for our fifth. We have to. That's what we need to give to them. It is especially critical for us to do so in an environment where the times and the culture we live in is more and more complex and our and our yet next generation are asking for help. Last year, the FOPX released a report that highlighted the concerns our youths are contending with in a postmodern world. They are confronted with opinions that are increasingly divergent from the biblical worldview. And they find it challenging to reconcile that with the Christian faith that they are raised in. You see that in the orange circles, it tells us over here that the worldly distractions or the influences in media, the secularized society really makes them chal makes it challenging for them. This is also some, you know, share I'm sharing with you some findings by focus on the family. While 89% of Christians say it is not acceptable to have sex before marriage, even in a committed relationship. 35% of them would say that they would go overseas alone with their boyfriend or girlfriend, even if they could face sexual temptations with each other. 82% say that pornography goes against their belief, but uh 42% have viewed pornography in the past 12 months. And 92% believe that infidelity is almost always wrong, but 26% have engaged in it before. So there is a gap. And these are statistics of our Christian youth, right? And there is a gap between belief and behavior. But we don't want to be people who just say this is what you must do, this is what you cannot do. But at the same time, our actions are driven by our values, right? And what we really are convicted in. So we may think a certain way, but our actions are a different way because we are not undergirded by that values. So instead of teaching our children and our young a list of do's and don'ts, family discipleship really starts by creating an environment where our children and our young people can feel safe to ask the difficult questions. And we guide them to apply the biblical values. So it's not can I do this and can I not do this? But it's what are the values that were and how can we apply those values in a context? Because the context would change. And if they if our children would feel unsafe because we're saying, hey, why you do this again, or haven't I told you before? Then they would find it even more challenging to approach us when they encounter sticky situations. So now, so because focus on family, we really you know promote the value of um healthy sexuality and holistic sexuality education. I would like to share with you some resources that might be helpful for you to get started. Um because this ties into the application of our faith as well, right? So this um this is a micro e-learning video series for you to try, you know, watching with your children and discuss together. You know, so you can scan the QR code and you will find um a series targeted at uh children with primary schoolers or children with twins who are might be in their early teens uh years. So we have a range of uh age-appropriate conversation guides as well on our website that can help you, you know, bridge the conversations because it is really about the application of our faith in the real world context and challenges that our people, our young people are faced with. Okay? So this is also a range of you know, frequently asked questions that we have uh written out that you can actually find as handles for you to keep the get the conversation started. Why do I use the word conversations? It's really because when we go back to scripture at in Deuteronomy 6, we we see here, it says here talk about them when you see at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. So it reminds us that it is really an ongoing conversation. It is not just uh having a talk or the talk, but it's a really an ongoing conversation for a lifetime. And it occurs even in the routine moments of your life, you know, in preparing to go to somewhere or even on a on a journey or commuting to somewhere. Another material that I want to share with you is um focus on the family's family devotional guide. And we have an e-copy available on UVersion. So if you have the Bible app, u version Bible app, you would find this online as well. And you can also check out our ministry partner, the treasure box. Um that they have a my favorite video series that they have is called I've Got a Question, where they address frequently asked questions that children ask about faith and life. So over here I shared, right, like if God is so rich, uh, the picture over here, it says, if God is so rich, why do we still need to give offering in church? I mean, I mean, and it's as simple as that, right? Children do ask these questions, but do we have an answer for it? Maybe these resources can help you get started. Now, in a fast-paced society where many of us are time poor and connected on our devices most of the time, we might find it, we might ask ourselves how the how do we make this happen in a practical manner? So, may I encourage us to start off by having regular family meals? Because it is in the context of a family meal where devices are intentionally set aside and we are faced turned towards one another, and just start by seeding conversations from there. We never we we often underestimate the value and um the time invested into a family meal, but honestly, those are the moments that bring about that richness of the three chords put together the spiritual, the social, and the emotional.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead, who would you choose? Carly Mulleg.

SPEAKER_01 28:25

Marilyn Munro.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

Oh god, I wouldn't have a clue. Oh no, straight up. Paul Hogan. Kim Kardashian.

SPEAKER_01 28:32

No, no, no. I'd like to have dinner with Justin Bieber. What?

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Um I'd have Bob Hall. Dave Hughes. Mary Humphreys. Jimi Hendrix. People who have made a difference in the world, maybe Nelson Mandela at the dinner table.

SPEAKER_01 28:52

I don't know what it's going to say. I'm scared.

SPEAKER_03 28:55

If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose?

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Probably a whole family. Like a whole extended family. Mum and Dad. Mum and Dad. Does it have to be a celebrity? Could it be family? We love it. We talk about how school is. We ask mum and dad how bad I was. Family. Yeah, mum and dad. Family. Who do I just want to have a dinner with? They just want to be with us while they're eating food. Which is pretty cool. They see us about everything.

SPEAKER_03 29:37

I'm gonna get a bit of a message in it for me.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Yeah. What are we having for dinner?

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Prelude to uh the festive season coming up, whether or not we practice uh celebrate Chinese New Year or not, it is a good time to schedule a family meal, I believe. Yeah, and it is also from there, I hope, and encourage us to see that that is the seat bed for relationships to be built. The intentionality to be seated together and to share a meal together really makes a difference. No matter young or old, I believe the family meal makes a difference. Yeah, and from there I pray that we would see us growing in the three chords together as a whole as a household. If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. And this I hope will be an encouragement and a hope and a source of hope for all of us. Who may be some of us who may be like me may be wondering, oh, if not, I was not modeled how a Christian household would be like, how do I start? Or maybe some of us might be wonder, you know, is it too late for me to start? I would say no, because this word tells us that we can begin today. Yeah, and you can trust the Lord for a spiritual awakening, a spiritual renewal in our households, starting from us if we were to commit to it. So may I close us in prayer? Father God, we thank you that we can be called your sons and daughters. Thank you for also gifting us our family. And among us today, some of us might find our family life inconsistent with your word, or some of us might feel like we are lacking in some areas. Oh Lord, I thank you that your word tells us that you make all things new and take away our ungodly mindsets and habits that hinder us from having our minds renewed in you. Lord, we invite you to bring healing to marriages. Lord, come and heal parent-child relationships in our midst. Father, we confess our lack as finite beings. And oh Lord, we need your intervention for our family. Lord, we need the Holy Spirit to empower us for the race of strengthening faith at home. Father, I pray that you'll gird us with courage and endurance to testify and impart faith so that the next generation can experience the reality of a living God. And that surely one generation shall commend your works to another and shall declare your mighty acts. In Jesus' name I pray.

unknown 32:34

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

If you'd like to know more about Eastern Christian Church, please visit our website at yccanglican.com. Have a blessed day.