SPEAKER_01 0:01

Good morning, Yushuan Christian Church. Morning. Yeah, it's my first time here, so I can't claim to see too many familiar faces. But yet I'm excited and I'm privileged to bring you God's word this morning. And I appreciate the friendship that Pastor Daniel extends to me. You know, we have gone to know each other, known to have uh we are walking with each other as brothers in Christ. And even though he's very busy, I'm sure Ishun Christian Church keeps him busy enough. Uh we still manage to find time to catch up once in a while just to check in on one another. This morning I'm going to uh share on the subject of fathering well. Fathering well. I'm sure all of us, especially in uh performance, I would say crazy maybe too strong a word, uh performance crazy Singapore. In everything that you do, you want to do well, right? And I think fathering is uh no exception. We want to be able to father well as well. So maybe a quick show of hands. How many here are fathers? Because I didn't get the opportunity to look around earlier when you indicated fathers, grandfathers. Okay, a good number too, right? Praise God. Right. Uh before we begin, maybe we bow down for a word of prayer together, shall we? Heavenly Father, we thank you. We thank you that you are the one who gives us the gift of fathers, oh Lord. We thank that thank you that you have established for us a pattern of fathering, oh Lord, that we may learn from. So this morning, Lord, as we go into your word, as we share life with one another, we pray that, Lord, your word will go forth. We'll build and encourage those of us who are fathers, oh Lord. We'll continue the work that you are doing in us, through us, to our families, to the generations that come, oh Lord, that your name may be glorified through our families. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Now, many of us, as I mentioned, would desire to be uh great fathers, and when um Pastor Danny asked me to share for Father's Day, I felt really qualified. Okay, not a very humble thing to say, but I felt really qualified because, as he has mentioned, I have four grown children. When you have four grown children and together they add up to 116 years, you make a lot of mistakes, you know, you learn. So that's the reason why I'm very qualified to share. Because of all these years, when you when you do something right, you know, with your four kids, uh, it's multiplied four times. But same time, each time you fail or disappoint them, it's also multiplied four times. So 116 years of training. Um, I think I have some lessons that I'll be able to share with you this morning. Before we start, okay, I'm going to bring the second chapter of the video. You saw how the young kids uh regarded their fathers earlier. Now I'll show you a short video of how some young adults relate to the word dad when they hear the word dad. Please play the video. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

Stable, dependable, unwavering. This is what the word dad means to me.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

I think of wise, dependable, and always available for advice. Wise, generous, and a safe space. And oh. I think of uh moustache and goatee.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Stable, dependable, unwavering.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

So you realize that uh sometimes after spending 30 years of raising some of them, uh, you know, all they remember is that mustache and goatee, you know. What I've edited out is actually when I thought uh when I was in the family chat and we were asking them, some of them talked about uh the word that came to mind is badminton, okay? Because I spent a lot of time playing a sport. For some of us, it may be golf, for some of us it may be work. I'm not sure what your child would say if you think of the word dad. Some may uh somebody even chickly said that when he hears the word dad, he thinks of nasipadang. So that tells you a little of what my favorite, one of my favorite foods is. However, I think whatever it is that we hope our children say of us, uh we hope that there are words that show that our interaction with them has been building them, has been constructive, has been helpful in their own life's journey, even before beyond the time that we can spend with them. So I hope that those will be the words that our children will say of us. I want to begin with to say that fathering is a gift, an undeserved privilege. If we look at Psalm 127, verse 3, it says here that behold, children are heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Being a father is a physiological, it's a biological thing, right? So that part of it, whether the best of us men or the worst of us can be a father. So it's not a title that you earn necessarily. You are you when you have a child, you become a father. That said, fatherhood is not a given. Just as we can become fathers biologically, it does not mean that we can be good fathers to our children. And as Christian men and fathers, seeing that children are a gift from God, and true of everything that God places in our hands, we adopt the role of a steward. A father is no less a steward of the children that God blesses us with. Hence, if we look at stewardship, then I would like to say that we grow as fathers when we grow as men. Now, no child would want their father to behave like a spoiled 16, 17, 18-year-old brat, you know, that still cannot control his temptoms, that's still not disciplined, and so forth, right? So we grow as fathers when we mature and grow as men. But more importantly, we grow as men where Christians are concerned, only when we grow as disciples of Christ. And this is really the crux of my message this morning. That amidst all that the world is telling us, you know, these days we have teachers in every form, right? Social media, you know, wherever, everybody's living perfect lives, everybody is the perfect father, and so forth, all these that is crying out to us, I want to point us back to that. We are as good a father only as we grow in the father ourselves. That when we pay attention to our walk as fathers, as men of God, as a child of God, when we come to do that, then only can we grow as fathers, blessing our children. Here I would want to read from 1 Timothy chapter 3, verses 2 to 5. Timothy points out a very important principle. Therefore, an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church? So this is what Peter wisely brought up to the church. That the best, in a sense, the litmus test of how a leader can be identified and can be groomed for church purposes is seen from how he is leading at home. Now Peter wasn't pointing to perfect fathers, because if you're looking for perfect fathers, then this church will be pretty empty, you know. Right? But he's looking for people who are learning and through even sometimes struggling with the father role at home, are still clinging on to God, learning and walking with God. And these are the men that we should be looking at as leaders in church. So the qualities are very similar. All the lists of things that are there, if we are as fathers, are most of those, we would be a blessing to our own kids as well. Here I want to state clearly that this is not about being Mr. Know all. Me being able to say that I'm Mr. Provide All, you know, I'm Mr. Love all. It is not. Only God, our Father, is perfect. We will not be perfect this side of eternity. But that does not give us excuse not to grow in the Lord in order to be a better father. Coming now then to our uh core message from the scripture that was read earlier. Um, I will focus primarily on verses 6 to 11 of 1 Peter chapter 5. And let me just read this quickly for you again. Verse 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you. Be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. So I want to cover some of the main points under this portion of scripture, under four B's. Four B's, okay? Not the buzzing bees, it's be something, okay. So firstly is be humble. God is near. Humility is something that is difficult for, I would say, most people, but especially for men. Right? We seem to take uh a lot more uh uh uh we are a lot more affected when our views don't seem to be accommodated, when people when our children or maybe even our spouses don't seem to listen to us, when things don't seem to be going our way, or we don't seem to be getting respect. Okay. So men have an issue with pride generally, right? It's it is a repeat topic at all our men's fellowship uh whenever we have a breakthrough weekend or times that we gather together. This is something that we talk about. So pride, pride is an issue. And then there are of course those of us who are perhaps uh doing well in our workplace, and because of that, we feel a sense of pride, we feel a sense of achievement. And with that, sometimes we feel that you know we apply that same pride when we carry on our fatherly duties within the family. This makes it pride makes it hard for us to recognize that actually truly only God knows what's best for us and our loved ones. God, only God knows what's best for us and our loved ones. However well achieved we may be in our lives and in our society. And here I believe that Peter the apostle wasn't just talking about the virtue of humility, not just talking about humility that society talks about. Here specifically, he's talking about humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God, which means to say that we recognize that God is sovereign, that his will is perfect, his will is good, his will is acceptable. And it's because of those reasons we humble ourselves, regardless of what station of life we come from. We humble ourselves and we leave our lives to God. This also means that in order to humble ourselves before God, we need to spend time with God. Right? There's no other way about it. We need to understand what His word says. Psalm 119, verse 105 says that, right, thy word is a light to my feet and a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. So when we don't immerse ourselves in studying and understanding and living and obeying God's word, we are no better than a father stumbling in the dark. Right? Because we are missing the light to our path, to our feet. So we need to spend time with Him, however exhausted we are with the 5,001 things or whatever it is that we are doing as fathers, okay. Second being, be not anxious. God cares for you. Would you just turn to your neighbor and say that be not anxious? God cares for you. This is a promise for everyone, okay? Not just for fathers. Now, anxiety is hardwired into human beings, uh, and and men don't seem to get enough of it. Uh uh, meaning that, you know, fathers worry over their children, we worry over finances, we worry over whether how things are getting on with you know within the family life and so on. There's no end to our anxiety. But I want to assure us that as Peter has stated here, God cares for us. And it's no small matter when we say that God cares for us. This is the creator of all things, in whom all things hold together in Jesus. This is the God of a thousand cattle on the uh cater on a thousand hills. When God says he cares for you, it means something, okay? Right? So Peter tells the church at large, cast all your anxieties on him because God cares for you. So we should be able to rest on this promise. So the next time, fathers, when you get anxious about something, remember that God, our Heavenly Father, cares for you in that particular situation, and that we can reach out to Him. I always like to tell people that He's as close as the mention of His name. Just speak His name and tap on His strength and His wisdom. Thirdly, be vigilant, resist the enemy. Here I want to read again. It says, be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith. The enemy is real and spiritual warfare is real. How many of you know that, right? Often we know that in our heads, but then when we go about our daily lives, you know, we may not regard things uh that way. But if we were to put on the eyes of the spirit, we'll recognize that the enemy is really active, you know, trying to trip us up in different things. And fathers, uh, somehow, you know, as I reflect on the all the years of fathering, uh, fathers tend to have short fuses, you know. I see mothers, some mothers nodding.

unknown 15:20

Right.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

Fathers tend to have short fuses, you know. We jump to conclusions quickly and then realize that we have shot ourselves in the foot, you know, because we didn't get the full picture and so forth. So we have to recognize that spiritual warfare is real. First John chapter 2, verses 15 to 17 may be familiar. It says that you know, do not love the world or the things of the world, because whoever loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. What it means here, and it goes on to say that the three things, you know, the lust of the eye or the desire of the eye, the lust of the flesh, right, and the boastful pride of life, most of our temptations and our the things that the enemy throws at us, particularly men, falls into these three categories lust of the eye, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. So whether it is in the workplace, you know, where we struggle within uh office, uh dealing with office politics, whether it is doing business where the business practices may not quite align with the biblical principles of honesty and truth, you know, or it is even what we call in the business world entertainment, you know, unwholesome entertainment, right? So the list goes on. That at home, not spared again, man, you know, whether it is pride, it is tiredness, it is short-fused or whatever that makes us a poorer father at home. Impatient, self-occupied, perhaps unloving or uncaring at times. And the list goes on. So we need to be vigilant that you know, as fathers, we are also faced with what the enemy throws at us. But we need to resist him. And as Proverbs 3, verses 7 to 8 says, do not be wise in your own eyes. Fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refresh refreshment to your bones. So we look, we we be vigilant, we are sober-minded, we are watchful, and we resist the enemy. Finally, the last B, the fourth B, which is I would say the most important one. It is the blessed hope that all Christians have, right? That we be hopeful and we persevere in God. At the end of the day, fathering a young child to fathering young adults to fathering, I don't know, you know, it will all pass. These are all seasons of life. Everything will soon pass, right? Uh life is like a vapor, the word of God says. So we need to know that the situation that we are in, whether it is a high moment or it's a low moment in our lives, it really doesn't matter because it is part of this journey, this process that God is transforming us into Jesus' likeness. So when we look at that, we are able then to go through some of the hard times that we need to suffer for if we stand for Christ, if we stand for what is right for the family, despite what society or popular views may be. And that's difficult. You know, I've uh well where most of our kids are now overseas, living overseas. But when we used to have them around the dinner table, I mean we I will usually try to just find out a little bit what are they, uh what's happening in their lives, what's you know, what what's uh what's common topics among what people of the age group talk about and so forth. And you find that the topics become increasingly uh hard because post-modern sort of society society, lots of things clash with the Bible's uh stand on perspective of life, of marriage, or family, and so forth. So you find that those are hard conversations. Then of course you have issues where uh it could be uh you're going through a prolonged period, uh restructured out of work. It's quite common, men face that. Here you are, you know, maybe even the omane breadwinner for the family, and suddenly you are after 25 years, you know, in the job, you're out in the cold, and you wonder, Lord, what's happening, you know. I I still have children that I need to put through university and so forth, right? Or a child with a chronic and prolonged illness. These things do happen to Christians, to fathers. But when we live with the end in mind, knowing that all things will be restored when we come face to face with the Lord, whether he comes first, his second coming, or we go to meet him, all things will eventually come to an end. And it will come to a perfect end if we remain faithful to him and stay with him. So with that in mind, then we father with God's purposes for us and for our children in mind. And that I think the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it best, you know, that we might all live in order to glorify and to enjoy Him. That's the subject of another sermon, but you know, sadly, you know, I think not many believers enjoy God. You know, we always talk about glorifying God, right? But sometimes we find that God is such a stern father, or you know, there are rules, these do's and don'ts. How often is it that you enjoy God as a father? Right? Because that's how I think our children would want to enjoy us as human fathers as well. Not just the protection, the provision, but the love, the care, and the mutual enjoyment of one another. Next, I'll just move briefly into my story. As most of you will probably guess by now, the the four young adults are my own, our own four children, right? And uh there on the left, uh picture of uh when my daughter got married at the cathedral. This was about seven years ago. Now she has got two lovely daughters of her own. They live in Australia. So I'm just gonna quickly run through what are my own lessons, my own takeaways, and I'm still learning as we speak in these areas of being humble, being not anxious, being vigilant, and being hopeful. Now, humility can be quite difficult when you're a bit older. Any any of the older men say amen? I'm in my 60s, so we uh we are in good company here, right? You get when you feel when you're older, sometimes you feel that you can do no wrong, say no wrong, or you know more things, right? So humility can be a difficult thing. And then, particularly in my background, coming from uh school, and then eventually in a military career for a number of years, I've always been taught to lead, to excel, to do well, you know, and so forth. So it is it is Sort of contrarian to say that you know you learn you want to be humble when you are told, especially also in modern society, that you must be confident as a man, you must project yourself, you know, must know your stuff, you must stand your ground, you know. All which acts against being humble. And humility is also not easy when you're involved in too many ministries in church. Okay, this may come as a surprise sometimes to people that you know you serve a lot, you must be very humble. Well, on the surface of it, maybe, because you know that the Bible says that you have to be humble if you're serving, right? But whether you are humble in your heart, only you and God know. Right? And humility that comes from the heart is difficult, I can tell you that, right? Especially when you are in prominent ministries, you know, where you have to have a certain uh persona to the people before you. Humility can be a very difficult thing. So that is something that I have to be conscious about and I have to come to back to the to the father repeatedly, you know, on a daily basis. And and this area of humility, I think my wife knows best. You know, I did primer on this, that's to say that, you know, uh whenever I cast an unkind look or say an unkind word uh to her, um, and mostly it's because of pride, like you know, I don't be wrong or I want to I want to show that I know something, you know, immediately these days the Lord convicts me quite quickly. And even though I don't say sorry in that many words, uh, but she knows that I'm sorry, you know. So, okay, so your you know your family members are useful in keeping us in our humble state sometimes, right? So don't take it wrongly. Okay. Now, be not anxious. I think this for me was uh a very key thing. Uh for the last 20 years or so, I've been mostly self-employed for most of the time. So when you're self-employed, obviously, uh sometimes you worry about how finances will flow and so forth. And as mentioned, sometimes your children get sick, sometimes it's a major illness, and you don't have answers for it. But I found that in all those times, as we come to God, God always meets us in our time of need, right? Uh it could be examples of uh, as I mentioned, most of the last 20 years, but there was a four to five year period where I worked for, went back to work for a corporation, and that was the timing that was when uh my elders was going to do a university course, and that means more, uh it was a distance learning course with a foreign university. So meant more expenses, and suddenly you wonder, you know, where's the money coming from? And and a job presents itself. So I know that God is good for it, you know. Um does he answer 100% of my press? No, like you, he doesn't, you know, but he's good for it most of the time. Yeah, so be not anxious, God cares for me. Be vigilant. I think this is something that I really need to caution us, men, and especially perhaps the younger men among us. There's a lot of temptation in the workplace, outside the workplace, in the business travel. I personally have seen and I'm uh I'm not proud of what I've done in the past. And those are the things that we have to realize that it is not necessarily a part of our work, right? So I have uh I've also walked away from jobs where I feel that the temptation temptations are incessant, you know. So why present yourself in a situation where you cannot, you know, or you will always be presented with temptations? So be vigilant. If you want to preserve your testimony, then you have to live different from the people around you. Finally, be hopeful. Some would think that after you know being 40-something years of uh being a Christian since my teenage years and been active in church all this while, that my hope must be like you know, brimming. On the contrary, actually, I would say with all honesty, the last uh couple of years following the uh death of a very close loved one, uh, has been actually quite difficult, quite dry. You know, I mean it's like suddenly you ask, what is the meaning of life? What's the meaning of being so active in church, you know, and all that? Because death puts an end to everything, you know, and that eventually all of us will meet our Maker, you know. So there are moments like this that I have to go through, but I have to persist. You know, I have to persist with spending time with God, I have to persist with understanding this season of dryness, this perhaps even season of wilderness. What is God doing in my life? What does he want to do next as well? And I I just wait, you know, I just so I'm I'm thankful because this is an opportunity, for example, to it's a privilege to be able to come here to share with you because it also forces me to spend some weeks seeking God's face as to what it is that he wants uh me to share with you. So all say God is good, you know, and and uh I would encourage the fathers here in our midst to continue to persevere. You know, uh sometimes you we may feel that we really haven't done a good job, and uh it can be quite disheartening. Uh and I I would like to to say that you know it's it's as I mentioned earlier, the fact our families are so important because they are the ones that give us encouragement to go on uh and continue to sometimes accommodate and forgive us time and again, you know, in our in our what we do. So to recap, growing as fathers, the four bees be humble, God is near, be not anxious, God cares for you, be vigilant, resist the enemy, be hopeful, persevere in.