SPEAKER_00 0:03

Can the single believer really be completely fulfilled? Or does that take place only within the context of marriage and family? This morning we have a really great message from guest speaker, Reverend Kenny Chi, which speaks not only to the issue of fulfillment as a single, but to those who are married as well. Prepare your heart and open your ears to the word of the Lord today.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Let me share with you my struggle as a father. My daughter Elaine works overseas. But on a number of times she traveled long distances to come both to spend time with us, with family, as well as to attend weddings of her friends. One after another. I could see that her friends were all getting married. My daughter is now 35 years old and she's unmarried. So I asked her, darling, how do you feel when all your friends are getting married one by one while you remain single? Do you feel envious? Do you feel upset? She said, No, I don't feel uh envious or upset at all. I feel happy for them. And I asked her, Do you uh have any desire to be married? And she said, sadly, no, I don't feel any desire to be married. And you know, my wife and I look at each other. You must pray for her. And you know, that really betrays what I feel deep inside. The Bible says it's good to be single, but I'm feeling what the culture has ingrained in me that is better to be married. And I'm a pastor. Can you imagine the kind of pressures that are being put on singles today? Pressure from family, pressure from friends, pressure from the media, pressure on Chinese New Year. No wonder all the singles are not in Singapore during Chinese New Year. They don't want to hear their relatives give the Ang Pow to them and say, When are you getting married? So I don't have to give you any more Ang Pows. Just fly to Bangkok, restaurants are all open and chill. The Westminster shorter confession says, Man's chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. But my version is a woman's chief end is to get married and enjoy her husband and children forever. How sad is that? I'm a pastor, you know. I remember when my daughter went overseas to work. I had this feeling. I was meditating on this portion where Jesus began his ministry. And I could almost imagine Mary looking out as Jesus leaves the home, leaves the family to go on his mission. And Mary remembered in her heart, let it be done to me according to your will. When the angels spoke to her, and I can imagine Mary saying, Let it be done to him according to your will. And releasing Jesus to do the work that God has sent him to do. And I felt that way when my daughter would be uh was about to leave Singapore to another country to work for the next five years, and I felt like that. Lord, I release her, I commit her into your hands. Let your will be done in her life. But yet, my wife and I find ourselves still praying, Lord, it'll be good if my daughter finds a Christian partner with whom she can serve you with the rest of her life. You see, culture, values that are set upon us by the media and by the world is very strong. It's very strong. Even though the scripture says it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a suitable helper for him. The Bible also says it is good to be single. St. Paul says, I wish that all of you are as I am, speaking to the unmarried and those who are betrothed. He said, I wish you were as I am. A single. Both are good. But why do I make marriage better than being single? So I contribute to some of the common struggles of single men and women, bringing pressure where pressure and expectation that marriage and family is the ideal norm and expectation. And K-drama and Hollywood lies to us day and night about the ideals of romance and marriage. Besides this, I found in my pastoral ministry that there are many other problems that singles go through. Disappointments and heartbreaks, that past relationships or dating did not end in marriage. Envy and comparison and the isolation they feel when their best friends get married and enter into family life and have no time for them. They also feel that age is catching up and they fear they will be left on the shelf. And there's also the fear that they will not experience some of the things that their friends are experiencing, like getting married and having children. Then there's self-doubt and God doubt. Is something wrong with me? Am I not attractive enough? Does God love me? Is God punishing me? Why is my prayer not being answered? Can you relate to these struggles? Can you relate to some of these struggles that singles face? Perhaps your daughter is single, your son is single, or a friend of yours is single. These are very real struggles, and we need, of course, to learn to lament before the Lord for all these uh emotions that we are feeling and tell it to the Lord or tell it to someone who can keep confidence for you. And then I look at St. Paul, a single man. He seems to be free from all these struggles, struggles that are common among us. And I I say, Lord, what is his secret? How is he able to stay single all his life? And I look at 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 32 and 35, which our young man had read to us, but I want to read it over again. In verse 32, it says, I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. Now we need to understand the context a little bit because it seems there is a group in the church in Corinth who are ascetic. That means they they love self-discipline and they believe in abstaining from all forms of self-indulgence. And this group condemned sexual promiscuity and argued that Christians should avoid marriage and abstain from sexual relations even in marriage. That's why when you read 1 Corinthians chapter 7, the whole chapter, with this context in mind, you will understand much of the chapter. In chapter 7, St. Paul is correcting them and giving them a more balanced picture. And he's saying marriage is good. Sex is okay in marriage, but remaining single is also good for a few reasons. And Paul says, I say it for your benefit. The two reasons are this. Firstly, Paul is keenly aware that we are living in the last days, that there is an urgency about the time that even he was living in. He talked about this present distress, verse 26. He talks about the appointed time has grown very short, verse 29. And he says, for the present form of this world is passing away. Verse 31. To Paul, eternity is just around the corner. I ask them, uh, how much longer to the peak? Just around the corner, just around the corner to make you to motivate you to walk another lap. And Paul is saying, look, it's just around the corner. Eternity is so near. The eternal kingdom is going to be established. The time we have here is so brief. It's like smoke, it's like vapor. There is an urgency for us to be undivided in our devotion to the Lord and to carry out his mission. There's no time for marriage. And even says, those who are married must live as though they are not married. Those who are doing business as though they are not doing business, that means with hands open. With hands open, willing to surrender all to the Lord. The second reason that Paul wanted and encouraged singleness was that they may be free from anxiety and able to give undivided attention to the Lord. Those of you who are married, you know there are many concerns, right? You care to please your spouse. And if you have children, there's even more added responsibilities from in the cost of infant care to daycare to making sure your children go through the PSLE to get a good secondary school and go through to university, etc., etc. And second language. Oh, yeah. How many of you? You struggle with your children's second language? Some of you can only vaguely remember what it was like in those days. Added responsibilities, and Paul says, I want you to be free from that kind of anxiety so that you can devote yourself to the Lord, and that's why he encouraged singleness. But what is it that enables Paul? What is it that enabled Paul to live above the problems of singlehood? I believe it is his worldview, it is the value system he carried. He had a biblical worldview, he had an understanding of God's plan from the beginning of time to the end. And he was so caught up in that vision of God's comprehensive plan to heal the creation that has been marred and stained and degraded by the impact of sin. He saw that God was on a mission, a mission to seek and save the lost, a mission to bring about a new creation, to heal the universe, to bring all things under Christ, as he says in the book of Ephesians. And not only is God doing that, Paul understood another thing. Paul understood that God is inviting every believer to join him in that mission. And to be undivided in giving their total devotion to God and the mission that He is on. No wonder Paul is so gripped by this passion to preach the gospel where it has not been heard. He was looking to the end, and the end is a renewed humanity in a renewed, new heaven and new earth, and God in the center of it all. This is what the whole Bible narrative from the beginning, Genesis, to the end, Revelation points to. Singles have their problems, married have their problems. You don't find fulfillment in a certain state. Whether married or single. You find fulfillment in Christ. As the song says, I have decided to follow Jesus. We are all familiar with YOLO. You know why it's YOLO? Y O L O. You only live once. Say to someone beside you, you only live once. It's a philosophy of life. It's a philosophy that says there may not be a tomorrow. Do what pleases you. Do whatever makes you happy now while you can, while you're alive. Don't postpone it to another time. If you want to travel around the world, do it. Use your credit card. Take a risk, just do it if you want to parachute. Nothing new, right? The preacher Koho left in the book of Ecclesiastes. He had the means to do everything that his heart sets upon. At the end of it all, he says it's miserable, it's vanity, vanity. It's like wind. Another philosophy of life that people have and that people live for is fire. You heard of fire? F-I-R-E. Financial independence. Retire early. How many of you want that? You dare not put up your hands. I know you want it. Fire. It's a philosophy of life. There will always be a tomorrow. We must live for tomorrow. Today we be frugal. We save money. We work hard. We put money in the bank. We invest. We save up. Try to reach $10 million with passive income so that we can chill. Is that familiar to you? Does it sound familiar? Is that a Bible story? The rich man and Lazarus. I'm gonna expand my business. I'm gonna expand the number of fields I have, I'm gonna increase the crop, I'm gonna build a barn, and then I'm gonna fill it with all the harvest, and then I can relax and retire early. It's not a biblical philosophy. Fire. So the church needs money. Cannot, cannot, cannot. I'm saving to retire early. There's a need out there. No, no, no, no, no. I need to take a second job. I don't have time to meet needs. There's something wrong with this philosophy. Have you heard of Limo? L I M O. Heard of that? Anybody? Unlike me. Because I came up with this. Living in missional obedience. Wow, how is that? You like that? Huh? That's it? Jail with you. God is inviting us to join him on his mission to heal the creation, to bring people into the kingdom, to serve the community. Each other in discipleship. He's inviting us. When you say yes to him, you're a missional Christian. Are you? Are you joining God in his mission? When a cell group of a group of committed Christians decided to join God in his mission, they are a missional community. And when a church commits itself and gives undivided attention to the Lord's desire to win people into the kingdom, to care for creation, to serve the poor and needy. We are a missional church. To form one another in Christ's likeness is God's desire. Are you a missionary church? This is God's desire. Whether you're married or single, this is where you will find fulfillment. You can be married and unfulfilled. And if you look to your children for fulfillment or to your spouse for fulfillment, you're going to be disappointed. How many of you know that? Come on. You're married 30 years, 40 years. You know that. You look to the children for fulfillment. Look to your spouse for fulfillment. Nah, it doesn't last. It's not to be found in marriage or singleness. Fulfillment is to be found in Christ. Amen? It's to be found in Jesus Christ and following the mission that God is on. So how many of you have YOLO in your operating system or fire? Please uninstall. Uninstall the software. I want you to install limo. Live in missional obedience. God is constantly inviting us to get involved in what he is doing in the world. And if you are sensitive to his voice, he is prompting you. Maybe a person's face keeps coming to your mind. Maybe somebody who doesn't know Christ keeps coming to your mind. It's the Holy Spirit inviting you to join him in the mission. Call him out, call her out for a meal and chat and listen and love and serve. All of us. You know, I have a lot of WhatsApp groups. What do you do? I'm sure you have also, right? What do you do? You mute it, right? You switch it off. Or you leave the group sometimes. Too many Christians mute notifications from the Holy Spirit. Can I say that again? Too many Christians mute notifications from the Holy Spirit. We ignore. We think it's just our thoughts. It could be the Holy Spirit sending you an invitation to join him in his mission. Okay, see John, your notifications, okay? Sit on. Say, Holy Spirit, when you whisper to me, I'm gonna listen. I'm gonna listen. I'm gonna be more sensitive. I have a male friend who serves the Lord full-time in retreat ministry. And he's close friends with another lady, totally platonic, but they're so close. Ko, Ko. Trying to get them married, you know, but without success. But one day it dawned on me. There are many things that this man is doing today that he can never do if he was married. At the drop of a hat, he can fly off to another country and do a retreat. I said, Lord, sorry for being such a gaypo. Actually, it's better he remains single. For the kingdom. For the kingdom. For the kingdom. I know an Air Force regular who retired at the age of 45, still single. He has a burden for China and is fluent in Chinese. So he regularly, for five years, went in and out of China discipling people from the underground church, teaching the Bible, equipping the saints. And then there was a period where he noticed there were a lot of ladies that he was discipling. And he came to a realization, I think for the sake of the ministry, I better get married. He's been single 45 years. As he reaches 50, he realized to be effective in the ministry and to protect him from temptation, he needed to get married. So there's this sister in church in her forties. Good friend of his. He wrote an email to her telling him, telling her his quandary. Say, would you like to marry me? Can you imagine what happens when the lady read that letter? She sent a curt reply. You're looking for a wife or a worker. But later on, she consulted a missionary couple and she prayed about it and they got married. Age of fifty, they got married, serving together in China. This is what it looks like. Limo, living in missional obedience. I wonder what it looks like if you live in missional obedience. It will take different forms, different shapes. It will be very interesting. Where is fulfillment found? Marriage does not give you fulfillment. Having children does not give you fulfillment. Being single does not give you fulfillment. Living for Christ gives you fulfillment. Joining God on his mission gives you fulfillment. Do you want this? Do you want to live above the sorrows, the struggles, the challenges of singleness and marriage? And enter a realm of abundant life. You need to answer God's question to you. Will you join me in my mission? I grieve over the sins of this world. I long for people to come to me. And there will be a day when this whole old and mud earth will be transformed, and there will be a new earth, a new sky, a new heaven. And there I want to dwell with all humanity. Jesus said, In heaven, marriage, there's no marriage. Do you remember? Marriage is just for this time. Singleness is just for this time. At this time on earth is very short. Very short. It's like vapor. It's like smoke. Our lives are like smoke, like vapor. It comes, it goes. Someone said it this way. It's like a bird coming through the house, flying across your living room, out the kitchen, out into the world. The time it spends out in the sky is so much greater than that short, brief time it went through your living room and kitchen and out. That is your time on earth. It's so short. Do you want fulfillment? Do you want to join God in His mission? I hope you can make a decision today. An intelligent decision. With eternity in mind. What are you going to do in this short, short time you have? Because what you do in this short, short time you have will determine eternity. And I plead with you that when we pray afterwards and we sit in prayer before the presence of God. And God asks you, son, daughter, will you join me in my mission? Will you be a missional Christian? Will you help yourself group be a missional community? All living for Christ, forming one another in discipleship. Going out in the community in service in compassion. Wow. Joining God in his mission.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

If you'd like to know more of the eastern procedure, please visit the Y C City.